Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
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