Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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