I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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