i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
