Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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