So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
