i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
