I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
that is very illegal...i love you.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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