the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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