I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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