a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
