dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize