I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
