Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
