I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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