I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
