sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
