Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
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a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
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You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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