I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
