I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
