My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
