i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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