She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
