Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Vodka?
Forever.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
