If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
