Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize