I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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