She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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