We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
lol hangovers are for mortals.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
