I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
