Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Randomize
