She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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