no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
