Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
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I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
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THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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