There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
