Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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