this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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