so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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