Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
