drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
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The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
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HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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