There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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