is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
