wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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