just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
