all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
