even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
