but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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