I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
