Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
