wat bout pragnant strippers??
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Come on in and take your pants off
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