I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
