he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
