I just threw up on my dentist
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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