I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I love you. Go after that dick
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
