See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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