You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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