so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Sorry about my life...
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
