is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
