And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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