I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
