I'm lost and stupid without you.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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