I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
tell me about the fingering
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